Jimcake Ranks the Stranded Players
Asshat
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST I LOVE THIS TRIBE!!! Obvi, this is our Complex Tribe, so according to infallible Edgic, our winner must come from this tribe. The only problem is there are so many to choose from . . . .
1. Jenn -- a true goddess. I am in love already. (Sry Ashley
)
2. Kelly -- I hate that bitch Sugar for stealing her from me in the draft. Everyone loves her . . .and I don't know why!
3. Joaquin -- Way overthinking things, but I like him for the inevitable trainwreck factor.
4. Sierra -- UTR goddess (and on purpose even!!!). True winner potential. A boring winner
, but you really can't argue with winning.
5. So -- I thought Asians were good at math.
6. Shirin -- I have no fucking idea what's going on.
7. Max -- He has no fucking idea what's going on.
8. Joe -- I was going to say "Joe is an idiot", but then I found out he's 13 years old. Still, Joe is an idiot.
9. Dan -- OMG, what a great character!!! Too bad his stay on Stranded beach will be so short.
Yali
Honestly, I'm having a hard time giving a fuck about this tribe or anyone on it. So boring. And so many alliances. I have about as much understanding of what's going on as Keith.
1. Val -- Too bad she's not an Asshat. The only player that I like on this tribe.
2. John Rocker -- OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JEFF, RIG THE GAME SO HE CAN STAY!!! PLEASE!!!
3. Jaclyn -- She's in the middle of everything and seems to have a good grasp of what's going on.
4. Dale -- I didn't think it was possible to be less interesting than the real Dale, but this guy proved me wrong.
5. Keith -- He was happy to be playing Keith. WTF?? Just for that lunacy her bears watching.
6. Nadiya -- Our boring gamebot.
7. Drew -- Our boring over-thinker.
8. Reed -- Our boring UTR player.
9. Missy -- WTF is wrong with you?? No, I'm serious. I want an answer.